I got this email today from a friend and legal advisor about a product on Amazon.com and this was just to classic not to share....I have posted a few of the reviews of this item and if you don't think they are funny then you are dead and should be buried. It is really hard for me to say which one is my favorite, there are several pages of these...I am even going to give you all the link so you can entertain yourself with these whenever you want.Dual Function Design, November 10, 2008
This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him. I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.
This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him. I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.
Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.
Synergy, May 4, 2009
I accidentally spilled a glass of Tuscan Whole Milk down the front of this shirt, and my soul was torn from my body and thrown into heaven by a jealous God.
Oh sweet Jesus this thing rocks, May 5, 2009
I have been wearing this shirt for about 15 weeks and I have not needed to wash it! You don't put this shirt on your torso you put it on your soul. The day I bought this shirt I lost 300 lbs! I got a new chevy, a new Trailer and my kids quit meth. I now know that the moon on this shirt is not a picture but the moon itself. I am the Moon Star!!!!!!!
Feed Your Inner Wolf, May 6, 2009
Last night I was wearing the Wolf shirt and clipping my toenails. Of course I was drinking whiskey because who doesn't love to get drunk and clip their toenails. Halfway through the bottle I couldn't tell if my pinky toe had any nail left, so I just kept clipping and clipping until I saw blood. Then I felt the Wolf; I had to taste the sweet blood. The flavor made me hunger for more as I began gnawing my foot until I was overcome with raw Wolf aggression. The whiskey in my blood only made my flesh taste more delicious, and made me more drunk. I began to get lightheaded and I took a nap.
PROS: Awesome Wolf graphic.
CONS: Missing foot.
Why can't Amazon have more stars? 5 ain't enough!, May 6, 2009
So I'm looking for threads that say, "Hey baby...I'm real boss!" when I stumble upon this epic creation. The wolves spoke to me in a language all their own; it was like German, Mongol, and Bitchin all mixed together. I mean, one wolf howlin at the moon is major...but three??? I ordered next-day air (if only there was same day!), and, of course, a size smaller than usual to ensure the closeness of the wolves to my chest hair. When the package arrived, I tore it open, and I SWEAR angels sang. I think it was Freebird. I immediately removed my "No Fat Chicks" shirt, and replaced it with this finery. Lemme tell you: AW YEAH. I'll spare the details of my conquests since I started wearing this shrit; suffice to say, I'm swimming in a sea of babes the likes of which are usually found on those K-Tel infomercials. I'm also more confident at work, and expect to be promoted to cashier soon. I owe everything to this shirt (I should say "shirts", since I now own 23 of them).
Pure Fabulousness, May 5, 2009
I purchased this shirt with the intention of giving it to my father. I knew he would feel it was fabulous and wear it with proud distinction. What I did not anticipate was the compelling gaze of Wolf #3. Upon opening the package I was instantly enraptured by its eyes and knew without a moment's doubt that my father could not have this t-shirt. It had to be mine. Fate mocked me, however, for the gift arrived on Father's Day and I had no choice but to give it to him. The anguish I was forced to endure was beyond the most savage of torments Hell could bestow upon the lowliest of mortals. What choice was I given? I murdered my father in a fit of jealous rage. I sometimes pay a prostitute to wear the t-shirt and visit me in prison just so I can look lovingly upon it.
Shamwow with Wolves, May 6, 2009
I liked the design of this Tshirt so much that I ordered two of them. Then the idea came to me that I could use them as seat covers in my Camaro because I'm all about classing up my ride. I stretched the Wolf shirts over the backs of my Camaro seats and it's now the hottest car in the entire trailer park. Unfortunately my T-tops started leaking the other day, and before I could fix them up with some duct tape the Wolf shirts got a little wet. But the Wolf shirts lapped up the water like a ShamWow. A ShamWow with bitchin' wolves on it. Not much hope for the Kraco 8 track player, though. Maybe if the tape player had wolves on it, it would still work too. Long live the Wolf T-shirt.
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