My Blogging Absence...

Well it has become quite evident to me that I have not been participating in this blog as of late. It has also been evident to a few others who have called me out on this fact within the last hour, so this one is for you. I haven't been writing because of some unforeseen occurrence known as something that will remain nameless. You see, I don't know what it is. It can't be writers block because I don't consider myself a writer. I am more of magician with a computer. And not a classically trained magician in the sense that I can pull rabbits out of a hat, but I will try to turn this post into some form of comedic value to our dedicated readers.

So, what have I been up too? Not living like a King, more like working like a slave. I discovered in the past week through this small culinary program that I involved in that I am among some pretty talented people and by that I mean, when in a pressure spot, the game gets stepped up and they deliver. We had a function for the schools Board of Directors where the menu was composed entirely of catfish. Yes, frigging catfish. Bland ass, gotta season the hell out of it catfish. We crushed it. Blew them out of the water. The reason we crushed it, preparation. Sorry to get on a life lesson, educational point here, but preparation is the battle, not the battle itself. Write that down, you will need it later in life. In addition, continuity got stronger among the group because the only way to "Crush it" is to work together. Another life lesson. Anywho, that was all fun and games, glad we got it over and yada yada yada

Next topic, I recently became the target in an under the table/across the bar bumper sticker war. I was set up and was rather displeased about this because the manner in which the news was broken, led me to believe something had been done to my home. You just don't mess with a mans home. Those are ground for getting kneecapped. Anyway, I did the math and went out to my vehicle to discover a sticker reading, " I want to be just like Barbie, that bitch has everything." Flattering, but I don't play with dolls and the last time I did it was He-man and G.I. Joe(both equally awesome). However, I am man, so they were not dolls, but rather action figures that totally kicked @$$. Growing up I had a Great Aunt who had no children so she showered us with toys on XMAS. Life was good. May have been the reason I had friends, surely not though. Anyway, back to the culprits or curs that did this... they have something coming there way. I don't know when or what it Will be, but it will be something completely asinine. That's how I roll.

In addition, the past week I have learned you just don't "F" with the U.S.A when you got one of ours hostage. Glad that Richard Phillips is safe and back with his family. I cannot imagine what this ordeal was like for them. On a completely different speed, I learned that my dear cousin from out of state has lost his ability for consumption. In his prime, he was a tornado in the Midwest. Just wiped the slate clean and kept on trucking. Now, not so much... he's more like a wet fart. Completely unexpected, out of control and no clue of the outcome. He passed out on my floor shortly after midnight the other night and he remained there all night. I did have the courtesy of providing him with a blanket so he wouldn't freeze to death due to thin blood in his alcohol stream. My other cousin has not responded to my calls or text, so apparently he is busy. thanks. Anyway, this all the attention span I can carry at this point so I am going to end this post. I will be back sooner, rather than later. There is some news coming up that I have privy to and I will break at this persons discretion, so stay tuned. In the Immortal word of the 'Silver Tongue Devil' from the best movie ever made, " Smokey and the Bandit".......Keep yours wheels spinning and the beavers grinning. Crockett out!!!