Pizza Den Rules

Got this email from a friend of the blog.. too good to not post

Pizza Den is an Oxford institution. Generations of Ole Miss students have been baptized in the sauce of the Stromboli, taken communion with a pitcher of beer and a Roast Beef and sought refuge in the olive-flavored grease of the Muffaletta. With the passing of some of Lafayette County's greatest landmarks in recent years, never has it been more important to preserve the tradition that lies in the dark, dreary atmosphere of Pizza Den. They may have changed locations. But, they're still complete ass holes and the food is as good and greasy as ever. Unlike the Gin or the Hoka, PD lives on. Let's treat it with the respect and honor it has earned over the decades. In the spirit of educating a new generation of spoiled, demanding pussies that seem to have overtaken the student body at Ole Miss, I offer this simple list of rules. Read it. Learn it. Know it. Then, and only then, shall you be worthy of the greasy goodness that is Pizza Den. (Feel free to add to the list or point out any errors)

1. We all realize they're @ss holes. Pizza Den wouldn't be Pizza Den if they weren't @ss holes.

2. The customer is never f$#&ing right.

3. Don't ask stupid questions like 'Where's the ice machine?' or 'Can I get change for a dollar to play PAC-Man?' or 'Can I see a menu?'

4. Walk in the door knowing what you're going to order. Don't stand there foaming at the mouth like a moron. You know what the f#$k you went in there for. Don't let the guy screaming at you from behind the counter throw you off your concentration. He's got sh!t to do and doesn't have time for you to pretend you're not getting a Stromboli.

5. Order your food and keep it simple. Don't start making a bunch of special requests. They'll f#$k it up just to spite you anyway.

6. Fix your drink. You should already know where the ice machine is.

7. Don't stand around the front waiting on your food. Sit the f#$k down and browse the 1972 yearbook. Your roommate's mom was probably a hot piece of @ss back then.

8. When they call out your order, go get it immediately. They don't have time for your bullsh!t. So, don't f#$k around.

9. You're GD right your buddy ordered the same thing and got twice as many potato chips with his sandwich. Got a problem with it? Keep it to yourself. You're lucky you even got any chips, jack off.

10. Eat.

11. Get the f#$k out. Bottom line: If you're expecting them to greet you at the door with a Coke and a smile, drive down HWY 7 to Bruce and visit Rex. If he likes you, he'll even throw in a racist joke or two. Otherwise, follow the rules and quit your bitchin'.

I do love the Stromboli!!!