Actually this is more like it. If you are at your desk, now would be a good time to throw your stapler at someone. F' IT!!!
Monday, May 11, 2009
F' Today!!!
It never got this bad but it was a pretty terrible day. Also, this is the dumbest, most ridiculous video I have ever seen. It is terrible, just like today. I know you will agree, so F' it!!
Belated Happy Mothers Day
This was too funny to not post. A little edgy, but then again these are the same guys that brought us the classic, "D!ck in a box"...Enjoy
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Coleman, No. 3 Tigers Shutout Gators, 4-0
LSU senior right-hander Louis Coleman hurled eight scoreless innings and the third-ranked Tigers collected 11 hits to shutout No. 11 Florida 4-0 in front of a school-record crowd of 9,131 Saturday night in Alex Box Stadium.
With the victory, the Tigers (38-13, 18-8) won their third consecutive SEC series and their eighth conference series of the season. LSU has won 12 of its last 13 league series, dating back to last season.
Coleman (10-2), the reigning SEC pitcher of the week, notched his second consecutive dominant performance, allowing only four hits while walking one and striking out seven. Coleman has not allowed a run in his last 17 innings, dating back to April 25 against Auburn.
“Coleman always has so much poise and composure and competitive zeal,” LSU head coach Paul Mainieri said. “He never makes excuses when a play isn’t made behind him; he just goes out and gets the next guy. That’s what makes him a winner.”
http://www.lsusports.net/ViewArticle.dbml?&ATCLID=3736211&DB_OEM_ID=5200
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Wolf Moon Shirts.. Hottest thing out there
I got this email today from a friend and legal advisor about a product on Amazon.com and this was just to classic not to share....I have posted a few of the reviews of this item and if you don't think they are funny then you are dead and should be buried. It is really hard for me to say which one is my favorite, there are several pages of these...I am even going to give you all the link so you can entertain yourself with these whenever you want.Dual Function Design, November 10, 2008
This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him. I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.
This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him. I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.
Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.
Synergy, May 4, 2009
I accidentally spilled a glass of Tuscan Whole Milk down the front of this shirt, and my soul was torn from my body and thrown into heaven by a jealous God.
Oh sweet Jesus this thing rocks, May 5, 2009
I have been wearing this shirt for about 15 weeks and I have not needed to wash it! You don't put this shirt on your torso you put it on your soul. The day I bought this shirt I lost 300 lbs! I got a new chevy, a new Trailer and my kids quit meth. I now know that the moon on this shirt is not a picture but the moon itself. I am the Moon Star!!!!!!!
Feed Your Inner Wolf, May 6, 2009
Last night I was wearing the Wolf shirt and clipping my toenails. Of course I was drinking whiskey because who doesn't love to get drunk and clip their toenails. Halfway through the bottle I couldn't tell if my pinky toe had any nail left, so I just kept clipping and clipping until I saw blood. Then I felt the Wolf; I had to taste the sweet blood. The flavor made me hunger for more as I began gnawing my foot until I was overcome with raw Wolf aggression. The whiskey in my blood only made my flesh taste more delicious, and made me more drunk. I began to get lightheaded and I took a nap.
PROS: Awesome Wolf graphic.
CONS: Missing foot.
Why can't Amazon have more stars? 5 ain't enough!, May 6, 2009
So I'm looking for threads that say, "Hey baby...I'm real boss!" when I stumble upon this epic creation. The wolves spoke to me in a language all their own; it was like German, Mongol, and Bitchin all mixed together. I mean, one wolf howlin at the moon is major...but three??? I ordered next-day air (if only there was same day!), and, of course, a size smaller than usual to ensure the closeness of the wolves to my chest hair. When the package arrived, I tore it open, and I SWEAR angels sang. I think it was Freebird. I immediately removed my "No Fat Chicks" shirt, and replaced it with this finery. Lemme tell you: AW YEAH. I'll spare the details of my conquests since I started wearing this shrit; suffice to say, I'm swimming in a sea of babes the likes of which are usually found on those K-Tel infomercials. I'm also more confident at work, and expect to be promoted to cashier soon. I owe everything to this shirt (I should say "shirts", since I now own 23 of them).
Pure Fabulousness, May 5, 2009
I purchased this shirt with the intention of giving it to my father. I knew he would feel it was fabulous and wear it with proud distinction. What I did not anticipate was the compelling gaze of Wolf #3. Upon opening the package I was instantly enraptured by its eyes and knew without a moment's doubt that my father could not have this t-shirt. It had to be mine. Fate mocked me, however, for the gift arrived on Father's Day and I had no choice but to give it to him. The anguish I was forced to endure was beyond the most savage of torments Hell could bestow upon the lowliest of mortals. What choice was I given? I murdered my father in a fit of jealous rage. I sometimes pay a prostitute to wear the t-shirt and visit me in prison just so I can look lovingly upon it.
Shamwow with Wolves, May 6, 2009
I liked the design of this Tshirt so much that I ordered two of them. Then the idea came to me that I could use them as seat covers in my Camaro because I'm all about classing up my ride. I stretched the Wolf shirts over the backs of my Camaro seats and it's now the hottest car in the entire trailer park. Unfortunately my T-tops started leaking the other day, and before I could fix them up with some duct tape the Wolf shirts got a little wet. But the Wolf shirts lapped up the water like a ShamWow. A ShamWow with bitchin' wolves on it. Not much hope for the Kraco 8 track player, though. Maybe if the tape player had wolves on it, it would still work too. Long live the Wolf T-shirt.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Profiling!! Its wrong...
So as many of our readers know I have a mustache. I lost a bet and honored it by rocking this unique facial hair treat. The deal was for a week , but we are well into week three and it has kinda grown on me... no pun intended. Anyway, I made my first official public appearance the other night at a local establishment that has been mentioned on here more than I can count, Webster's. The place had a good crowd, I knew my people would be there... figured it would be a good night and a good time to share this joy that I have bestowed upon my upper lip. I walk in and immediately I am getting high fives, thumbs ups from across the bar... People are digging it. Awesome!! So I venture outdoors to have what would be multiple cigs and that's when I ran into the girls. I will refer to them as the girls to keep it short, but these are friends that are female. It wasn't as well received from them as it was the fellows. I was called everything from a Mexican to a criminal that specializes in driving around a van with 'Free Candy' written on the side. This did not waiver my enthusiasm for the stache. I was proud of it and felt they were just in a bit of shock. Then something peculiar happened, one female felt the need to compare me to dirty ass old man that used to drive and El Camino from her hometown. She is a transplant, not originally from Greenwood and is lucky to be living here as far as I am concerned. This was not a big deal, however, the next day I received a text from this transplant that was a jest pointed towards my mustache. I didn't even dignify the text with a response. The hell with her and her shenanigans.
So, this led to the ole wheels a spinning in the head and I decided to do a little experiment. I felt that I would get the response that I was looking for as this person has a history of running things into the ground. So, I went to this persons place of employment... she is in retail... to see if my theory and thoughts would be proven correct. I figured that I would walk in and she would laugh and make some chastising remark as this is all this person has to do is make fun of people...look in the mirror please. My plan was to bounce as soon as she went after me and then tell her that I would do my shopping elsewhere. Well, true to form, she did what I thought she would do, she laughed. I did a sort of about face and headed out the door. She followed, speaking my name in a tone just below a yell, like she was trying to wrangle up a loose dog. I got to my car door... she was at the door of the business and I told her, " I am gonna shop somewhere else". Sure, it seems a little petty, but the point of exercise was to see if her response would be exactly what I thought it would and it was. I was profiled because of this mustache. It started on Saturday, continued on Sunday and came to a peak on Wednesday.
If I was a lesser man, I would have just let her keep on busting me up, but I didn't. By doing what I did, she got the impression that I was upset with her and that got the wheels a spinnin in the old noggin. They should be spinning, although I don't know where they are going, but you just can't manage a store and laugh at every dude with a stache. Although, I bet the next man that walks in wearing one will be greated with a smile that has laughter and disdain behind it just as my greeting did. So in closing I would like to put forth my best PSA and say just because a cat has a stache doesn't mean he is from South of the border or is a pederast who did six months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old. He might just be someone who lost a bet so please be kind...bitch
So, this led to the ole wheels a spinning in the head and I decided to do a little experiment. I felt that I would get the response that I was looking for as this person has a history of running things into the ground. So, I went to this persons place of employment... she is in retail... to see if my theory and thoughts would be proven correct. I figured that I would walk in and she would laugh and make some chastising remark as this is all this person has to do is make fun of people...look in the mirror please. My plan was to bounce as soon as she went after me and then tell her that I would do my shopping elsewhere. Well, true to form, she did what I thought she would do, she laughed. I did a sort of about face and headed out the door. She followed, speaking my name in a tone just below a yell, like she was trying to wrangle up a loose dog. I got to my car door... she was at the door of the business and I told her, " I am gonna shop somewhere else". Sure, it seems a little petty, but the point of exercise was to see if her response would be exactly what I thought it would and it was. I was profiled because of this mustache. It started on Saturday, continued on Sunday and came to a peak on Wednesday.
If I was a lesser man, I would have just let her keep on busting me up, but I didn't. By doing what I did, she got the impression that I was upset with her and that got the wheels a spinnin in the old noggin. They should be spinning, although I don't know where they are going, but you just can't manage a store and laugh at every dude with a stache. Although, I bet the next man that walks in wearing one will be greated with a smile that has laughter and disdain behind it just as my greeting did. So in closing I would like to put forth my best PSA and say just because a cat has a stache doesn't mean he is from South of the border or is a pederast who did six months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old. He might just be someone who lost a bet so please be kind...bitch
Monday, May 4, 2009
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