The Misadventures of Doe and Terry

I am sure that throughout life we all encounter certain individuals that really make us realize that there are some truly odd folk out there. Well, Doe and Terry are no different. I first met these two cats nearly a decade ago and it has been that long since I have seen them or heard from them. Actually quite glad for that last part. I really don't think it would be in anyones best interest to formally associate with people of this brain power. Doe and Terry were dishwashers that I formally "supervised" at a former job. It goes a little like this..............

I was 25 years old. Fresh out of a rather well known four year institution, not prison, but some of the same routine, college. I was employed with a group of people that had opened a restaurant a few hours North of my current location in the big city of Memphis. I had just done a 6 month internship with the guys, learning about there food, wine, service style, etc... I wasn't sure if I was ready to make the jump to the big leagues like this, but I was enthusiastic about actually being employed in a field that I had some experience in. Nonetheless, it would be a challenge, as I would be assuming the roles of management in a assistant position. Really no way to clear cut a job description other than solve problems, do what needs to be done, and be nice. Easy enough I suppose when you are mid twenties and think you know it all. We had a dynamic group of personalities on staff. Waitstaff from all types of backgrounds, beliefs, attitudes, egos, problems, dependencies, etc..I had no responsibility over any kitchen personnel, but had a good relationship with them. Kitchen guys are easy to get along with once you get the lingo down and maybe buy them a few beers. Another area that is important in any foodservice are the dishwasher,...... potscrubbers, moppers, sweepers, dish bitches.... whatever you want to call. That was Doe and Terry.

I remember the first day,....I went around to the back because I wanted to make sure I knew everybody, so I went to introduce myself and Doe just looked at me with glazed eyes and said, "man, everybody just calls me doe....ok, Doe, how are you? Aight....". At this point, I was trying to figure out if his name was like dough or Doe, so I just settled for the deer reference and didn't bother asking for a proper spelling. I was pretty sure that the interest would be lost as the headphones were blaring some strong Snoop Dog. Anyway, Doe, was a little out there to the point of being rude. Didn't really show anyone any respect, rocked the Sox cap to the side and as I mentioned, had the headphones up all the way regardless of whether they were on his ears or not. Well, Terry was a little more formal... A gentleman of sorts. Missing several teeth and loved to show that off as it seems he smiled all the time. Pretty sure anybody could get along with Terry. He was a mans man....liked fishing, drinking, chasing women and trying to dodge child support payments. Solid makeup of an individual.

So first night of officially being open and the place is jumping. There was a great deal of buzz about the place, so there was nothing soft about this so called soft opening. It was shittin and gettin...four deep in the bar....full dining room... turning over tables left and right....just straight up rockin. I approached the pass, as the kitchen was open to the dining room so the action was right there in front of you. Can't really curse out loud if your a kitchen guy, but it was probably so loud that nobody would have heard it. The head chef/boss is expediting orders and putting the finishing touches on plates before they make the trip to the diners. He looks at me and says,"@#%&!$# dishes are stacked up in the back and we are running out of plates.....deal with this"....So I did,..... I went to the back to dishland to see what the problem was, praying the dish machine wasn't broken or something to that effect. I get back there and there is no Doe washing dishes. I look across the way and Terry is working his tail off. He looks at me and I mouth, were is Doe. He just shrugs his shoulders like man, how the hell am I supposed to know that. I am 20 skillets deep in 160 degree water, burning my damn arms off. It was a mess in dishland and the servers kept bringing the dirty back. So, I thought, let me check out back and see if his car is here. Kinda didn't want to do so considering it was around 8:30 at night and there could have been someone back there waiting to attack. Safety first ya know,.... but I cracked the door open and sure enough, there was Doe, hanging out, leaned up against the side of the building....smoking. I approached him and said, Doe, what the heck are you doing? Doe said, man, I'm on break. I was like, break, there is no break at this point in the evening. We still have a full seating of customers waiting and we are trying to feed this seating...We need clean dishes...your job remember....wait, what the f@#k? Are you smoking a joint? Yeh man, calms my nerves and shit....Doe, that is illegal....You, me and this place could get in some serious trouble for that...you need to get rid of that stuff right now. Doe was like, nah man, its cool. This is Memphis baby. I was sorta confused at this point. Kinda thinking he was right, but then my senses gathered me and I told him that he has got 1 minute or you can stay out here as long as you like because I am going inside and you are fired. Kinda changed his tune and he mashed out the end of his roach and put it back in his box of Kools and came back in. He had his work cut out for him after that. Doe washed dishes consecutively for the next 4 and half hours. It was like 2 am when he got done. Terry did all the other cleaning because he got done much quicker than Doe. When he left that night/morning, I was thinking, he probably isn't coming back to this job. Not with all this stress and no mind clearing time. He did. There will be more on these cats at a later date. This is not embellished in any way, as these stories need no embellishing. Dishwashers are some interesting people.