5TH ANNUAL CRAWFISH BY THE LAKE!

See you this Saturday and remember, no matter what Chris says do not get on the Rhino with him after dark.

WEEKLY BASEBALL AMERICA TOP 25

Rk. Team W-L Last Week Prev.
1. UC Irvine 30-11 4-1 1
2. Rice 28-10 1-0 2
3. Arizona State 31-9 3-1 3
4. North Carolina 35-11 4-1 4
5. Louisiana State 33-11 5-0 6
6. Cal State Fullerton 29-11 5-0 10
7. Mississippi 32-12 4-1 11
8. Texas 29-11 0-3 5
9. Oklahoma 33-11 4-0 13
10. Georgia Tech 28-11 2-3 7
11. Georgia 33-11 2-3 8
12. Arkansas 29-12 3-1 12
13. Cal Poly 29-10 2-1 14
14. Virginia 34-9 4-1 15
15. Texas Christian 27-12 4-1 16
16. Kansas State 31-11 2-0 23
17. Baylor 25-17 0-5 9
18. Miami 29-14 3-1 18
19. Florida State 30-12 5-0 21
20. Texas A&M 28-15 3-1 24
21. Clemson 30-15 4-1 NR
22. Alabama 29-15 2-2 22
23. Kent State 32-9 4-1 25
24. Florida 31-14 5-0 NR
25. East Carolina 32-13 4-1 NR
Dropped Out: Oregon State (17), San Diego State (19), Hawaii (20)


Since I'm bored at work and this post is about baseball anyway, I will post the most unexpected thing I saw this weekend in college baseball. (Should be easy since I only watched one game.) Plus I know Crockett likes a good story, even if it is about LSU. On Sunday, with LSU trying to get it's first SEC sweep of the season, up 7-4 in the top of the 8th, Auburn had runners on 1st and 2nd with nobody out and the 3,4,and 5 hitters (all lefty's) coming to the plate, LSU coach Paul Maneiri did something that made me think he had gone bat shit crazy. With Matty Ott, the SEC save leader, ready to go in the bullpen, Maneiri decides to go with lefthanded sophmore Chad Jones to have a Lefty pitch to the 3 left handed batters. What's wrong with that you ask? Well for starters, Chad Jones was recruited as an outfielder. Jones hasn't played that much baseball in the last two years because he is the starting free safety on the football team. He hasn't even been on the team for the last month because of spring football practice. Also he hasn't pitched since high school, two years ago. You could hear the crowd on the tv as it seemed everyone there was also wondering what the hell was going on. Jones trotted out to the mound, fired in some warmup pitches and then gave up a single to the first batter he faced. At this point with the bases loaded and nobody out I was thinking 2 out of three wins aint bad. Then Jones proceeded to strike out two of the better hitters in the SEC swinging. Maneiri then brought in the righty to close it out. I guess the point of this story is that some people when placed in an unfamiliar situation that's packed with pressure fold like a cheap suit and others come out looking like Predator firing 93 mph fastballs with a wicked slider to boot. Enjoy the video.

HULK, IT WILL ONLY BE AIRED IN JAPAN. TRUST ME, NO ONE WILL SEE IT.

It pains me to say I used to love this guy when I was a kid. This is what the Hulk used to say... "Say your prayers and Take your vitamins and you can become a real american" What he really meant was... "Stick needles in your ass and sell out to anyone who will give you a dollar" Thanks Hulk. I feel used.

THE REAL REASON WHY POPEYES CLOSED...

This is obviously not in Greenwood, but if it were, they might have burned the building down.

CAPTION THIS PICTURE...

Ok folks, from time to time I may put up a picture that I think is funny and ask you to give your caption ideas. To do so, just put it in the comment along with your name. I'll get things started...


"13 MILES IS ALOT HARDER WITH YOUR OWN THUMB UP YOUR ASS"

JESCO WHITE IS BACK AND THIS TIME HE'S GOT THE WHOLE FAMILY WITH HIM

Shoot-outs, robberies, gas-huffing, drug-dealing, pill-popping, murders, and tap dancing. From MTV Studios and executive producers Johnny Knoxville and Jeff Tremaine comes a shocking and outlandish year-in-the-life documentary about the Whites—Boone County, West Virginia’s most notorious and surly family. Nestled deep in the Appalachian Mountains, the White family lives an existence more like something from the Wild West than modern day suburbified America. The legendary family is as known for their wild, excessive criminal ways as they are for their famous mountain dancing members, including Jesco White, the star of the cult classic documentary Dancing Outlaw. Over the course of one tumultuous year, the Whites deal with a stabbing, criminal sentencing, attempted murder, death, and birth. The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia is directed by Julien Nitzberg (producer of Dancing Outlaw and daily raider of the jackassworld kitchen).

The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia debuts at the Tribeca Film Festival this coming weekend. For further news and information on public screenings and whatnot, please check out the trailer park we’ve since set up on the back forty of jackassworld for the Wild Whites: http://www.jackassworld.com/wildwhites

Click here to watch the trailer. NSFW

http://www.jackassworld.com/blog/2009/04/21/the-wild-and-wonderful-whites-of-west-virginia-the-trailer/

THIS WEEK AT WEBSTER'S

CHALLENGE!!!

The gauntlet has been thrown down for a dance off at the Cascio Crawfish Boil '09. Don Brock has basically slapped Lee Pruett in the face with this video mocking his dance moves. We will have to see what Pruett brings next Saturday at the crawfish party.

THE LANE KIFFIN SHOW

Sadly, I think this might be how this conversation would really go down if it were to actually happen. And I firmy believe that Lane Kiffin's wife has a Tim Tebow poster on her bedroom wall.

ALL I CAN SAY IS WOW!

I have been sitting here for about 30 minutes thinking of what I could say about this video and nothing I come up with does it justice. This is video of the closing arguments in the case to decide whether Curressia Brown is a legal resident of Greenwood for the purpose of running for mayor. Sit back and enjoy.

I will say one thing. Apparently they do not give grammar tests at law school. That is all.

Mustache Game.....Crockett Loser

In a tightly contested matchup of two Juggernauts of the 'Dog and a Beer' FBL your very own Crockett lost the before mentioned, "Mustache Game" 6-4. Not much to say here, team did a pretty good job of keeping us in it all week, but they were just too strong in the end. Big ups to Nick Markakis and Adam Dunn for there contributions as they were the pulse.

So, I gotta were a stache for a week. Shouldn't be that difficult as I already have one. I just have to shave the chin patch. The only downside is that I look a little weird with a stache, so I will probably scare little kids and women, but I will befriend allot of mechanics. I guess it is a pretty fair deal. Its hard to find a good mechanic.

Of course if I was this guy, I wouldn't have to worry with either. Magnum is the man!! And anyone that tells you otherwise is not American.

IT'S FRIDAY BIATCH! EVERYONE GET OUT AND DO THE STANKY LEG AT THEIR FAVORITE DRINKING ESTABLISHMENT!

By the way, that chick in the white pants is unbelievable. Her ass moves as if it's independent from the rest of her body.

REGARDING COMMENTS...

Crockett and I talked this over and we are implementing a blog rule. If you post a comment on the blog you have to put your name under the comment or it will be deleted. This is not to deter you from commenting or trying to censor you in any way, we just feel that if you are going to take shots at people you should have the balls to say who you are. We will continue to fire shots at people and we assume everyone who reads this knows who we are and there have been many pictures of us if you don't know who we are. So with that said, keep posting your comments, they are much appreciated by Crockett and I, just go down a couple of lines after your comment and put your name. Everyone knows this is all in good fun and will not be offended. If you do get offended, this blog may not be for you. I bet Martha Stewart or Oprah have a blog that might be more suitable for your fragile ego. That is all.

THE MUSTACHE GAME

In our Fantasy Baseball league this week we have a battle taking place that is interesting for two reasons. Not only is it a great matchup that is tied 5-5 with 3 days to play, but the loser has to wear a mustache for I believe a week. Crockett is taking on his roommate, El Crocketto, in a loser wears a mustache game. This weekend will decide it all. I will have a complete rundown and pictures when it has all been decided.

Showbiz Pizza You Say Crazy Legs

After reading Crazy Legs comment under the, "This Week at Webster's" post, I could not resist and it is Friday and I just love this anyway....The Rock-afire Explosion!!!

TEXAS BOUND

Yes folks it's true. As Crockett said I will be leaving Greenwood on May 17th bound for San Antonio, TX. Don't worry Stewie I will still be blogging. I know where to find pictures of you from anywhere in the world. I am excited about what I will be doing and where I will be going. I love the state of Texas and have had a blast on my many trips there. Here are the top 5 reasons why I love Texas in no particular order.

1. Texas Beer



Texas is home to two of my favorite beers, Lone Star and Shiner Bock. One I can get in Mississippi and one I can't.


2. Cowgirls


Does this really even need an explanation?

3. Texas Attitude



I love the "shoot first ask questions" later attitude of Texas. I also love the state motto "Don't Mess with Texas!" It doesn't get any better than that.

4. Texas Music



From Willie Nelson, Robert Earl Keen, Pat Green, Jerry Jeff Walker to countless others, Texas music really captures the attitude of the people and the entire state. Hard drinking and hard living.

5. Everything's Bigger in Texas



This really goes with the attitude but I felt the picture deserved it's own category.

Macarthur....Moving out of Town

That's right folks, many of you already have heard the news, Macarthur will be leaving us for a while and will be putting himself back into active duty with the United States Military, Air Force if I am not mistaken. While we wish Mac all the best in his new/old endeavour, his absence here will be sorely missed. As a blogger, he fought for what he believed in and delivered the good, the bad, and the ugly that the world had to offer. There were some epic battles like the week leading up to Ole Miss/LSU; The Fantasy Football Playoffs; The ongoing battle with John Stewart. The latter I don't see an end in sight in the foreseeable future. But anyway, Mac has got to do what Mac has got to do and we couldn't be happier for him and again wish him the best. Now children, make no mistake, he ain't leaving the blog. His name will always be on the blog and he will continue to tell it like it is and how he sees it with blatant disregard for human life. He is just leaving town. Kudos Mac, best of luck.

THIS WEEK AT WEBSTER'S

This Week at Webster's

Happy Hour Special every day!
Join us for appetizer and drink specials from 4:00 - 6:00

Wednesday
Crawfish 6:00pm - Get here early!!!

Friday
Live Music from Terry "Harmonica" Bean!!

Saturday
Live Music from The Bourbones from Minnesota

FORREST GUMP REBORN IN THE FORM OF A LITTLE ASIAN GIRL...

I found this video on "With Leather" with a summary that read...

"I know absolutely nothing about this video, other than the fact that kid’s two great loves seem to be slapping white balls and grunting. Call me when you turn 18, homegirl."


That's just good writing if you ask me.

Watch 6-Year-Old Ping Pong Champion and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

BUSTED!

While browsing my source for "This weekend at Websters" pics I found the bumper sticker in question from Crockett's story earlier. It's not Crockett's car but I think we found out where it originally started. LEE PRUETT take note, when you are taking a picture of a bumper sticker you put on someone else's car, make sure your reflection doesn't show up in the picture.

Creepy neighbor update

Apparently that last post lit a fire, so I will get everyone up to speed on this cat. If you have followed the blog or been to Webster's anytime in the last decade you have seen him and you know of his firepower. This guy has a gift for flatulence. When he was a baby, the gods reached down and turned his stomach and entire digestive tract into a fireball. Maybe they didn't consider all the damage he would cause to other peoples lives, including mine, but they gave him the talent anyway. The talent to release a form of toxic gas that has NOT been studied by any organization or entity that engages in chemical warfare. If you have been there, you know what I am talking about. If you haven't, pray you don't ever.

So apparently, a few months back, this 'talent' led to his removal and concurrent suspension from his favorite hangout, Webster's. The owners had had enough. They drew a line in the sand and said, Mr. you gotta go. And big ups to them for having the stones to run him like they did. I am sure they were a bit concerned about retaliation and to my knowledge none was brought. Which is a point I will touch on in a bit. But for now, the suspension lasted till April 1st. A bit of foreshadowing I suppose, as the joke was clearly on them. He was gonna wait it out; safe up the gas (or as much as he could) and bring it all back in with him. Now I don't know if he did this or if he didn't do this... I am speculating his thought process. And No, I don't know how he thinks. But you gotta imagine, getting cut off from your routine because of your talent has got to wake up the echoes or the voices in his case. You gotta think, he was gonna come out like Jordan versus the Trailblazers-game 6- Completely on Fire!!! I have been back in there a few times late at night and I haven't seen him. Maybe I am getting there too late and I am missing him; Maybe he has moved on to greener pastures in which he will kill the grass with the fumes from his ass. I don't know. We still speak in passing; Yes, I wave and acknowledge him. He does provide us with the free service of cleaning out the ditch after a rain. If I paid someone to do that it would probably set me back $30. I just don't know about him now.

Now to the other point I wanted to touch on.. Why no retaliation? Was this his way of giving back to the people he had been slowly killing over the past decade. Was this his way of showing respect? Was he trying to let the establishment know, I am sorry. Did he discover Immodium AD, Pepcid AC, Tums or Rolaids? This is all too confusing. Its like a Soduku puzzle...interesting to study, but hard as hell to figure out. I have no answers for a man that for as long as I have known him, drew no quarter for bar goers. He let his talent shine every chance he had and though it would not be a shame to keep it under wraps, you gotta think, his stomach has got to be killing him with all that gas pressure built up in side. Only time will tell.

My Blogging Absence...

Well it has become quite evident to me that I have not been participating in this blog as of late. It has also been evident to a few others who have called me out on this fact within the last hour, so this one is for you. I haven't been writing because of some unforeseen occurrence known as something that will remain nameless. You see, I don't know what it is. It can't be writers block because I don't consider myself a writer. I am more of magician with a computer. And not a classically trained magician in the sense that I can pull rabbits out of a hat, but I will try to turn this post into some form of comedic value to our dedicated readers.

So, what have I been up too? Not living like a King, more like working like a slave. I discovered in the past week through this small culinary program that I involved in that I am among some pretty talented people and by that I mean, when in a pressure spot, the game gets stepped up and they deliver. We had a function for the schools Board of Directors where the menu was composed entirely of catfish. Yes, frigging catfish. Bland ass, gotta season the hell out of it catfish. We crushed it. Blew them out of the water. The reason we crushed it, preparation. Sorry to get on a life lesson, educational point here, but preparation is the battle, not the battle itself. Write that down, you will need it later in life. In addition, continuity got stronger among the group because the only way to "Crush it" is to work together. Another life lesson. Anywho, that was all fun and games, glad we got it over and yada yada yada

Next topic, I recently became the target in an under the table/across the bar bumper sticker war. I was set up and was rather displeased about this because the manner in which the news was broken, led me to believe something had been done to my home. You just don't mess with a mans home. Those are ground for getting kneecapped. Anyway, I did the math and went out to my vehicle to discover a sticker reading, " I want to be just like Barbie, that bitch has everything." Flattering, but I don't play with dolls and the last time I did it was He-man and G.I. Joe(both equally awesome). However, I am man, so they were not dolls, but rather action figures that totally kicked @$$. Growing up I had a Great Aunt who had no children so she showered us with toys on XMAS. Life was good. May have been the reason I had friends, surely not though. Anyway, back to the culprits or curs that did this... they have something coming there way. I don't know when or what it Will be, but it will be something completely asinine. That's how I roll.

In addition, the past week I have learned you just don't "F" with the U.S.A when you got one of ours hostage. Glad that Richard Phillips is safe and back with his family. I cannot imagine what this ordeal was like for them. On a completely different speed, I learned that my dear cousin from out of state has lost his ability for consumption. In his prime, he was a tornado in the Midwest. Just wiped the slate clean and kept on trucking. Now, not so much... he's more like a wet fart. Completely unexpected, out of control and no clue of the outcome. He passed out on my floor shortly after midnight the other night and he remained there all night. I did have the courtesy of providing him with a blanket so he wouldn't freeze to death due to thin blood in his alcohol stream. My other cousin has not responded to my calls or text, so apparently he is busy. thanks. Anyway, this all the attention span I can carry at this point so I am going to end this post. I will be back sooner, rather than later. There is some news coming up that I have privy to and I will break at this persons discretion, so stay tuned. In the Immortal word of the 'Silver Tongue Devil' from the best movie ever made, " Smokey and the Bandit".......Keep yours wheels spinning and the beavers grinning. Crockett out!!!

WEEKLY COLLEGE BASEBALL RANKINGS...

Rank Team W-L Last Wk. Prev.

1. Louisiana State 26-9 3-1 2
2. Rice 25-8 4-1 3
3. UC Irvine 22-9 3-1 5
4. Arizona State 25-8 2-3 1
5. North Carolina 27-9 3-2 4
6. Cal State Fullerton 22-9 2-2 6
7. Baylor 23-10 3-2 7
8. Georgia 29-6 4-1 8
9. Texas 24-8 4-0 9
10. Oklahoma 28-8 3-1 11
11. Arkansas 24-8 2-2 12
12. Georgia Tech 21-8 2-2 13
13. Miami 25-10 2-2 10
14. Oregon State 20-7 2-1 16
15. San Diego State 25-12 3-1 18
16. Texas Christian 22-10 3-1 19
17. Mississippi 25-10 3-2 14
18. Cal Poly 24-8 3-1 21
19. Virginia 28-7 2-2 22
20. Coastal Carolina 29-7 5-0 24
21. Kansas State 26-9 2-1 NR
22. Gonzaga 23-10 3-2 NR
23. East Carolina 26-9 1-4 15
24. Kansas 23-12 5-0 NR
25. Minnesota 20-10 4-1 NR

IT'S TECHNICALLY FRIDAY BITCHES... GO OUT AND GET FREAKY

MINORS TARGETED BY MISS. FAKE ID LAW

Using a fake ID to buy alcoholic beverages soon could bring fine, community service

Come July, minors caught trying to buy liquor, beer or wine with any kind of fake ID could face up to a $500 fine and 30 days of community service.

While it long has been a misdemeanor in Mississippi for people younger than 21 to present fake driver's licenses to purchase alcohol, Senate Bill 2616 attempts to close a loophole by making it a crime to present any kind of false identification, including student or military IDs.

http://www.clarionledger.com/article/20090408/NEWS/904080354

THIS WEEK AT WEBSTER'S

This Week at Webster's
Happy Hour Special every day!Join us for appetizer and drink specials from 4:00 - 6:00

Wednesday
Crawfish 6:00pm - Get here early!!!

Thursday
Come celebrate Good Friday early with Live Music Wayne & Haggard!

Friday
Live Music from Thomas Jackson!!

Saturday
4th Annual Crawfish Bash with Live Music from Gunboat. Outside bar will be open all day!

THIS WEEKS COLLEGE BASEBALL TOP 25

1. RICE (21-7) – Previous rank: 2 Even without stud pitchers Ryan Berry and Mike Ojala, the Owls still managed to sweep Tulane at home over the weekend. Pretty impressive.

2. LSU (23-8) – Previous rank: 4 The Tigers kept their winning ways going over the weekend. They won their fourth-straight SEC series on the road against a very good Georgia team.

3. ARIZONA STATE (23-5) – Previous rank: 5 After splitting a pair of mid-week games against Cal State Fullerton, the Sun Devils left very little doubt in a conference road series against Washington.

4. CAL STATE FULLERTON (20-7) – Previous rank: 1 The Titans split a pair of mid-week games against Arizona State but took a small step back over the weekend with a home series loss to UC Irvine.

5. NORTH CAROLINA (24-7) – Previous rank: 6 The Tar Heels hit the road for a three-game series for only the second time this season and didn't disappoint against a very good Georgia Tech team.

6. GEORGIA (25-5) – Previous rank: 3 The Bulldogs swept a mid-week series from Clemson and came very close to taking a home series against LSU. However, some miscues set them back.

7. ARKANSAS (22-6) – Previous rank: 8 Observers have said the Razorbacks simply aren't flashy, but if 22-6 with an outstanding SEC record isn't flashy, the Hogs certainly will take it.

8. GEORGIA TECH (19-6) – Previous rank: 7 The Yellow Jackets had another mid-week contest rained out and hosted North Carolina in a very hard-fought series over the weekend. Tech has a very good team.

9. MIAMI (FL) (23-8) – Previous rank: 9 The Hurricanes took care of business in the mid-week and actually showed us a lot by finding a way to win the final two games of the Florida State series.

10. UC IRVINE (19-8) – Previous rank: 13 After cruising past an improved Loyola Marymount team in mid-week action, the Anteaters held Cal State Fullerton to only two runs in two wins.

11. TEXAS (20-8) – Previous rank: 11 The Longhorns began the week with a mid-week win over Oral Roberts before hitting the road and surprising many with a series win over Oklahoma State.

12. BAYLOR (20-8) – Previous rank: 12 The Bears split a pair of mid-week games before hitting the road to play an improved Kansas team. It wasn't pretty at times but they recorded the series win.

13. OKLAHOMA (25-7) – Previous rank: 14The Sooners had yet another week to remember. They beat up Nebraska to begin the week before taking two of three on the road from Missouri.

14. MISSISSIPPI (22-8) – Previous rank: 18 The Rebels had their most impressive week of the season. They won three mid-week contests and swept a decent Kentucky team at home over the weekend.

15. CAL POLY (21-7) – Previous rank: 17 After a tough weekend at Irvine two weeks ago, the Mustangs bounced back with a mid-week win over USC and a series sweep over Cal State Northridge.

16. TEXAS A&M (20-11) – Previous rank: 10 The Aggies thrashed struggling UTSA in mid-week action but failed to take care of business on the road with a series loss to Texas Tech.

17. VIRGINIA (26-5) – Previous rank: 21 The Cavaliers had a busy week on the diamond. They won a pair of mid-week contests before taking two of three from Maryland at home.

18. OKLAHOMA STATE (21-10) – Previous rank: 17 The Cowboys began the week with a series finale loss to Missouri before beating Tabor College and losing two of three at home to Texas.

19. FLORIDA STATE (18-10) – Previous rank: 16 The Seminoles began rivalry week with a mid-week win over Florida in five innings before dropping two of three in a hard-fought series at Miami.

20. OREGON STATE (18-6) – Previous rank: 23 The Beavers proved they're in contention for the Pac-10 title over the weekend with an impressive three-game series sweep over California.

21. EAST CAROLINA (25-5) – Previous rank: NR The hot-hitting Pirates picked up mid-week wins over Elon and N.C. State before hitting the road and sweeping UAB in impressive fashion.

22. SAN DIEGO STATE (22-11) – Previous rank: NRThe Aztecs split a pair of mid-week contests against a good UC Santa Barbara team before taking three of four over the weekend from UC Davis.

23. TCU (19-9) – Previous rank: NR The Horned Frogs did just what the doctor ordered last week. After taking a mid-week game from Texas-Arlington, they did a clean sweep of New Mexico.

24. HAWAI'I (19-10) – Previous rank: 24 The Rainbows had yet another solid weekend on the diamond. They took three of four from a much-improved San Jose State team.

25. COASTAL CAROLINA (24-7) – Previous rank: 25 After sweeping a pair of mid-week games from a good UNC Wilmington team, the Chanticleers had little trouble sweeping Gardner-Webb.

Opening Day!!!

That's right, baseball is finally here and what an opening day it has been so far. You got Griffey going back to Seattle and going deep for career homer 612 which just happened to tie a major league record for most opening day dingers. Then you got the amazing feat by teammates Felipe Lopez and Tony Clark of the Arizona Diamondbacks, where both of these switch hitters went deep once from both sides of the plate. The first time that this has been done on Opening Day. Then last night, rookie Braves outfielder, Jordan Schafer going yard in his first career major league at bat. C.C. got shelled by the O's; Cliff Lee got roughed up by the Rangers and then there was the Mets and Reds, who somehow managed to get nine innings of ball in despite a toad strangler and sub freezing temperatures.

It has been a good day of ball thus far today and the Fantasy team looks to be poised to produce some strong results. Now personally I am not going to jump out and endorse a team, despite having some loyalties. I have to many guys on the fantasy roster to route against them. So I will endorse baseball as a whole and do my best to update our followers as to the goings on in and around MLB. I know I speak for the entire blog when I say, we are glad baseball is back.

THIS WEEKEND AT WEBSTERS

FRIDAY - Scott Chism and the Better Half

Here is a video of the band. You are not going to want to miss these guys. I feel a grammy coming in the future. When they hit the big time, be able to say I saw them at Webster's.



SATURDAY - College Basketball Final Four